


BloodCam: What Dragon Did This Come From?

by hollo



Series: Blood Trails - BloodCam AU [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Character, M/M, asexual Keith, awkward talks, dildo, i think its funny i laughed for ten minutes last night when I thought of this, lance is allosexual, like fantasy dragon dildo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:46:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9673337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollo/pseuds/hollo
Summary: So maybe, just maybe, anger-ordering something for your boyfriend might not be the best idea.Especially when you forget you ordered it until it arrives a month later and you can't even remember what you were angry at him for.(at least he likes it)-Part of the Blood Trails - BloodCam AU





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was an absolutely ridiculous idea I had at like, midnight, that I needed to write because it was ridiculous.
> 
> You don't need to have read the BloodCam stories to understand, but I encourage you to do so if you'd like.  
> One thing to keep in mind is that Keith is Ace and Lance isn't and this is set in the future from BloodCam (so they've been dating like three years by now or something they're like 28-ish and comfortable enough with each other to be ridiculous like this)
> 
> If you want to find me I'm [itsdetachable on Tumblr](itsdetachable.tumblr.com) and [itsdetachable on Twitter](twitter.com/itsdetachable)

The silence wasn’t exactly awkward, but it was...something. It was weird. Not the least because it seemed like neither one of them knew what to do or say about the thing before them.

“I think I was mad at you about something?” Keith said slowly, frown on his face and forehead wrinkling as he tried very hard to remember. 

“So you bought me a dildo?” Lance raised an eyebrow, motioning at the object on the table.

It wasn’t just  _ any _ dildo, either - no, it was a ten-inch long, girthy dragon dildo, colored in swirls of galactic blacks and blues and purples, with a smattering of glitter throughout it.

“It made sense at the time,” Keith shrugged, but he looked a bit peeved. Probably at himself, for ordering such a ridiculous thing. Probably because it must’ve cost a fucking ton. “I forgot I ordered it.”

“You forgot you ordered a glittery fantasy dick?” Lance asked with an incredulous laugh, picking it up. “Why even?”

The dildo was  _ big _ , with different bulging parts and knobby things at the head and a thicker knot right at the base. It was all very detailed, like, with exquisite care, though it was difficult to see with the colors. If it was something more… uh, not natural, but dragon-y colored, it might’ve been easier to make out the lines and grooves, Lance thought. He ran his fingers around its length, feeling the knobs and the bulges and the interesting texture along the bottom. It was velvety smooth, hefty, and surprisingly soft and giving. It gave easily when Lance squeezed it in his hand, though he could tell there was a stiffer center to give it some structure - and make it easier for penetration, no doubt. 

Wow, so his head just went somewhere. To several places, actually. Hurriedly, he tried to think of something else - anything to get his mind off of those  _ arousing _ trains of thought - and squeaked out the first thing that came to him

“It’s so  _ soft _ .”

If Keith noticed his sudden lack of composure, he didn’t mention it, his expression didn’t even change though his gaze hadn’t strayed from Lance - and the dragon dildo.

“Well, it’s a big one so…” Keith crossed his arms as he continued mutter, “There were like, hard options, but I wasn’t  _ that _ mad at  you…”

Lance laughed, shaking the dildo at Keith. Keith’s eyes followed it with a look of slight… distrust? Like he wasn’t quite sure what the thing might do if left to its own devices. Lance wondered, for a second, if Keith might be disgusted with it - but that wasn’t a disgusted look, and they’d gotten to the point where Keith felt comfortable telling him if something bothered him. He trusted that if Keith didn’t like him shaking dragon dicks at him, he’d let him know.

“I can’t believe you bought a dildo for me as some sort of...what… insult? You wanted to get back at me or something?”

“I don’t know Lance!” Keith groaned, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “All I remember was that it was late, I was pissed, and this-” He motioned at the glittery dragon dick in Lance’s hand “-made sense. Somehow.”

“Ah, I see,” Lance said, now tapping the tip of the dildo against his chin in place of a finger. Keith looked like he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be amused or annoyed. “You’re telling me to go fuck myself. It’d be brilliant, you know, it  _ really really would _ , if you only remembered what you were mad at me about.”

Lance raised an eyebrow, “Do you? Remember what you were mad at me about?”

Keith thought a long moment, eyes dodging first to the right, then to the left, then down at the floor as his forehead scrunched again. Lance watched it all with laughter threatening to bubble out of him, because confused and puzzled Keith was absolutely adorable, and the whole situation was absolutely ridiculous.

After apparently exhausting all options at trying to remember, Keith finally sighed and shrugged.

“No.” 

“So what am I supposed to do with this?” Lance asked, holding the dildo out again. It was just soft enough to wobble when he shook it, so he did it several times because, honestly, it was one of the prettiest dildos he had ever seen and the way it glittered like a galactic star field was mesmerizing.

“Whatever you want?” Keith said simply. Lance looked over at him, a smile spreading across his face.

“Aw,  _ baby _ ,” Lance cooed, then added with a wink, his smile turning lecherous, “Every time I use it I’ll think of you.”

Keith raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms again as he gave him one of his patented “I’m done with this” looks - but Lance didn’t miss the way a grin was trying to curve his lips.

“Have fun with that.” Keith said, turning to head back towards the kitchen. “I’m gonna go get dinner ready.”

Lance let him go, looking down at glittery dildo in his hands, and grinned to himself as he remembered he had the morning off tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think? Haha...


End file.
